sisterly advice

unsolicited advice to my sister starting college next week (and all those embarking on something new)...

Give it a chance.
Trust in the Lord.
Seek his will for you.
Keep the faith.
Say your prayers.
Listen for the answers.
Be the face of Christ to others.
Look for Christ in the faces of the people around you.
Take the high road.
Get some sleep.
Make your bed.
Be yourself.
Have fun.
Know you are loved!

my third arm

On nearly every outing, I wear the wee lass in a ring sling, just as I wore the younger lad in one before she came along.  I almost always get a comment or inquiry about it.  People will often take note of how content she looks snuggled up on me, or how she can see everything, or how they wish they had those things when their kids were little.  Some want to know if it's comfortable or if it hurts my back (it *is* comfortable so long as it's on correctly, though I do feel tired if I wear her in it for a long time). 

Babywearing is commonplace in many cultures around the world, but it's attracted some negative press lately because of a government warning on the potential dangers of infants suffocating in them (in a particular "bag" style, I should say). Not all slings and baby carriers are created equal or hold the baby in the same way.

Just as with any other piece of baby gear -- cribs, swings, car seats, and bouncers included -- caregivers need to use common sense and educate themselves on the correct usage of slings so as to insure their wee  bundle's safety and comfort.  The slings I have come with instructional videos that are also posted on their websites, and I've spent lots of time practicing getting the babes situated just so before setting out on any shopping jaunts or other excursions. 

Speaking personally and as I did when I dispensed some unsolicited advice for weathering pregnancy sickness, here are some further thoughts I have on babywearing based on my own experience...

I wore the elder lad in a wrap like these occasionally, though I found it to be cumbersome and in need of adjusting a lot.  It was difficult to nurse in, but it *was* comfortable to wear once we were situated because the weight is distributed over both shoulders.   I got my first ring sling when my younger lad was about two months old and have always loved how easy and quick it is to get on, off, and adjust.  It goes over one shoulder, though, so the weight is localized more on side.  If the fabric is spread out over my back as it's supposed to be, this is usually not a problem.  That first ring sling is a versatile steely gray-blue color.  When the lass was born, my mom gave me a girly pink one with butterflies and polka dots and other lovely images.   Now I'm able to coordinate my outfits to my slings.  :)

When both lads got to be about a year old, I switched to a carrier similar to an ERGO, which can be worn on either the front or the back (though the particular Patapum I have is for bigger babies or toddlers, which is why I wait so long to use it; the ERGO and another style of Patapum can be used from infancy).  When the weather is such that I don't need to wear a jacket or coat *and* when the lass gets a little bigger, I'll dig out this carrier again (if I can manage it with my baby belly). I practiced and practiced (and will again) getting the babes onto my back in this carrier at home on the sofa or in front of a mirror so that I'd be adept at and safely able to get the "slingling" (i.e. the baby in the sling) on my back at whatever location we happen to be.

There are several online resources for babywearing, including some to help one figure out which type of carrier might be best for him- or herself.  One such site is thebabywearer.com, which presently has links to several sling safety sites but also has extensive information and reviews on the various styles and brands of carriers.  (One such page on sling safety is on Babywearing International's site; thebabywearer.com has its own safety pages, and each sling manufacturer has information on safe wearing.)

Choosing a sling is a very personal thing, and many babywearing mamas I know have two -- if not several -- types of slings they use for different situations and durations.  The many documented benefits to wearing babies include facilitating bonding and nursing (the latter of the two I've yet to master but will have another go at here in a few months), aiding Baby's digestion, and reducing fussiness, among many others.

With any sling, there is a learning curve and a window of adjustment for both the baby wearer and the slingling.  So long as the carrier is on correctly, if the baby fusses when first put in the sling, often it helps to get up and moving for a bit of a walk to help the baby settle in.  If the fussing continues, it's a sure sign to stop and check everything is kosher.

I call my sling "my third arm."  I could not function as I do without my sling.  I can keep my littlest babe close to me where each of them has always preferred to be, care for my other children, attend to many (but not all) household duties with careful consideration to how I move or get up and down so as not to pitch the babe forward, and go to the store/playground/library/wherever with free hands and baby able to see everything from "the catbird seat," as one manufacturer describes it. 

Given my multitasking mandate, slings help me fulfill the many duties in my charge.  The babes are content and things get done.  Wearing the babies has saved me untold amounts of hassle and struggle with infant car seats (ours is particularly cumbersome) and strollers (my babies never seem to want to ride in them very long until they get a little older, so I'm stuck holding a baby and pushing an empty stroller), and allowed me to manage  two or more children at the grocery store by having one (or two) in the cart and one slung on me.

I welcome the inquiries I receive on babywearing, and hope my experience can help other caregivers and their precious cargo.

unsolicited advice

We are expecting our fourth child sometime in mid- to late July.  Our elder lad thinks it will be another sister, but my father-in-law thinks it's a boy.  We shall see.  We have been surprised by the gender of each of our three children in the delivery room and anticipate another surprise.  After feeling *certain* that my second lad was in fact a girl the entire time I was gestating him, I think my intuition has been disabled.  I have no idea which gender our newest babe is.

Pregnant mamas are prime targets for unsolicited advice (though admittedly I haven't attracted quite so much this fourth time around).   Three children born within three and a half years of each other (the fourth is due about a month after our elder lad's fifth birthday) mean that I have gleaned some insights into how to manage the roller coaster of tummy troubles that I ridden with each pregnancy.  If these insights can be of any benefit to anyone else, this post will have served its purpose.

** Remember: I'm a pianist -- not a doctor -- so this is all based on what I've read and what I've experienced personally in this particular season of my mothering journey. **

I struggle with "morning" (more like all-day) sickness throughout each pregnancy.  My bambini in utero didn't seem to notice us having passed the first trimester mark; I was sick pretty much most of the time for the first three, and I have a prescription nausea drug that I'm taking now (as I have for two of the previous three pregnancies) that takes the edge off and helps me maintain some functionality.

I've read about (and experienced) links between "morning" sickness and blood sugar as well as morning sickness serving to dissuade pregnant mamas from eating foods that are allergenic or otherwise potentially harmful.  But when one has been spending not quality but quantity time with the commode and just can't seem to make the room stop spinning, what is there to do?

Being proactive goes a long way.  The main thing for me is to always have something in my stomach.  If I get hungry, I often get sick.  Eating is often the last thing I feel like doing when I'm nauseated, but ironically, sometimes it's what helps turn the tide, a little bit at a time.

For me, protein is very important.  Favorites of mine have included yogurt, cottage cheese, eggs (hardboiled or scrambled), other kinds of cheese, milk, nuts, beef, etc.  It's very important for me to moderate my intake of carbohydrates (even like cereals and bread) and try to have protein along with any carbs I'm eating.  Along those lines, fruits like apples and grapes treat me better than sugary things. And the adage to eat what sounds good often holds true for me, with the premise that the body craves what it needs.  When the cravings are for greasy, fried, sugary, or otherwise not-so-healthy things, I try to temper them by having a little but not too much. 

French toast, whole wheat pancakes with cinnamon for blood sugar stability, and breakfast casserole work well for me as breakfast (or anytime).  Some favorite homemade snacks of mine include chocolate peanut butter granola and breakfast cookies. 

I've always been inclined toward motion sickness, and ginger helps quell the nausea (except when I'm pregnant, when oddly it isn't as effective; it might be different for other women, though).  I take it in capsule form.  I find it at the health food store, but pharmacies may have it over the counter.  I've also read that B vitamins, especially B6 (I think -- remember what I said about not being a doctor) can be very helpful with nausea.  There are also these things called "sea bands" that I tried when I was pregnant with our elder lad.  I hadn't quite figured out the whole carb/nausea link then, though, and they weren't as helpful for me as I hear they are for other women.

When nausea gives way to heartburn, I've found papaya enzyme tablets *very* helpful, even more so that Tums.  Similarly, pineapple -- especially fresh, but canned is OK too -- helps with digestion.  Sounds weird, I know, but a nutritionist told me that.  The acids in the fruits help break down the food.  And lying on my left side sometimes helps when my tummy is upset.  I read somewhere that the stomach drains on the left side, so lying that way can help it do its thing.  (Sometimes I even try this with my newborns if they seem to be reflux-y or experiencing tummy troubles of other stripes.)

Riding the pregnancy sickness wave can be exhausting, but keeping things in perspective is key to survival.  One mama friend once told me that she was sick throughout several healthy pregnancies, but not during the one she ended up sadly miscarrying.  Whatever physical illness and discomfort we go through gestating these children God entrusts to us is, hopefully, temporary, relieved soon after delivery.  I know several mamas who have struggled with the sickness and physical unpleasantries of pregnancy who would be quick to say that the children they have since birthed have been worth all the toil.

I'm one of those mamas.