the secret of success

This is a special day for my beloved's family, for it is the anniversary of his grandparents.  He is their eldest grandchild, born on their 25th wedding anniversary.  That was a while ago, and a lot has happened since then. 

Sixty-plus years of marriage do not elapse without struggle.  Arriving at this milestone requires each spouse’s commitment every day to living the vocation to which God has called them.  This daily acceptance of God’s will is a choice each spouse makes to work for the good of the other, to love each other as God loves each person.  When asked how they accomplished this feat of longevity, my beloved's grandmother is quick to note that prayer is essential to the equation.  Without a prayerful perspective, the ins and outs of daily life weigh heavily on shoulders with the best of intentions but little foundation upon which to rest.  

The pair who now call me their granddaughter (omitting the "in-law" part) continue to give witness to the power of faith, hope, and love in action by their daily commitment to prayer and self-sacrifice, using words only when necessary to explain with great humility the great blessing they have received of so many years spent hand in hand serving the Lord.  Built on the foundation of sacramental marriage, this couple (like so many others) has seen its share of happiest joys, deepest sorrows, and the gamut of emotions and experiences in between.   Their family and friends rejoice with them on the happy occasion of their anniversary and thank God for the blessing of knowing and learning from this couple as we do.    

Stories like this one serve as inspiration to those wondering how to make marriages last so long or how to keep children close to the faith.  My beloved's grandparents and other long-time married couples like them know the accomplishment is really a blessing that, along with the blessing of relative good health for both spouses, comes through having allowed themselves to be the instruments through which God works out his plan, by cooperating with the Lord through an attitude of self-giving, and by taking up the crosses big and small that the Lord sees fit to place in their paths every day.  This approach has made the Earthly journey the couples have traveled together an altogether happy one, but their ultimate goal is to see each other in Heaven. 

seventh anniversary

Holding a bouquet of white roses like these in one hand and with my other hand tucked inside my beloved's, I walked toward the altar of our diocesan Cathedral.  These first steps on the path of our shared vocation seem both recent and long-ago, with so many blessings,challenges, joys, and sorrows to have come our way since that morning seven years ago today.  By God's grace we are still walking hand in hand.  For this and for so many reasons to celebrate every day, I am more grateful today than ever before.

God calling

The pastor emeritus of the parish I served as director of music and liturgy in my former life rang me on the telephone this afternoon.  He called to wish me early felicitations for the feast of St. Polycarp, a saint this pastor holds in high esteem who the Church remembers in a special way tomorrow (February 23rd).  Come to think of it, he calls me every year on February 22nd, I think to make sure I remember that tomorrow is his favorite saint's feast day, but mainly to capitalize on an opportunity for a quick hello and aural snapshot of how we're doing here now that I don't see him in the church office on a daily basis.

It might as well have been God himself calling me this afternoon speaking through the voice of this Irish Catholic priest who has long and often affirmed mothers tending to their young children.  He never fails to offer concrete words of encouragement such as "it's important work you're doing," or recognize the intensity of our experiences -- albeit in a lighthearted way such as good-naturedly teasing a mother in a grocery store with multiple children in and hanging off of the shopping cart by asking her what she does in her spare time. His timing was impeccable today, as we were in the throes of Happy Hour here.  The pick-me-up was much needed and appreciated. 

My friend the St. Polycarp fan was instrumental to my having a profession as a liturgical musician before my vocation of marriage led me to motherhood (as he was the pastor of that parish when it instituted the full time position I held for a few years), and he's instrumental now in my living out this vocation of marriage and motherhood.  Having served Christ in untold numbers of faces over the years in various pastoral capacities and still now in retirement, this man of God brings Christ to those who seek him and those who might otherwise not be looking for him, simply by encouraging us in our daily doings with uplifting words and sometimes ornery humor.  God love him.

garden flower

On this day 36 years ago, my  mother carried gardenias (or "garden flowers") in her bridal bouquet.  In the Victorian language of flowers, gardenias symbolize joy and purity.  That's what I wish for her and my dad today, her birthday as well:  pure joy, with much love...

The Summons

There were so many signs of God's grace present at our littler lass's baptism yesterday, from the family and friends who celebrated with us to the music at the Mass.  Before Mass began and again at the preparation of the gifts, we heard John Bell's  The Summons, a song that resonates deeply with us as it was the processional at our wedding a little over six years ago.

While it is beautiful and moving in any instrumentation and voicing, it was simply awesome presented as it was at our wedding with my college music theory professor -- a mentor and friend -- in command of the massive organ and a dear friend and fellow liturgical musician serving as cantor for the wedding Mass leading the congregation in singing.

I have often pondered the text of this song, every time finding something different that speaks to me in that moment.    Yesterday, it was this verse that spoke to me, both as a mother and about the commitment we have made on her behalf and hope that she will one day take ownership of:

Will you come and follow me
If I but call your name?
Will you go where you don’t know
And never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown,
Will you let my name be known,
Will you let my life be grown
In you and you in me?

At our wedding, the lengthy procession included altar servers, several priests, our wedding party of relatives and friends as close as family, our parents, and us.   My beloved and I processed in together as ministers of the sacrament of marriage together following our parents.

The music filled the church and the procession began.  My beloved and I waited, though, until the final verse:

Lord, your summons echoes true
When you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you
And never be the same.
In your company I’ll go
Where your love and footsteps show.
Thus I’ll move and live and grow
In you and you in me.

The challenge is as pertinent today -- if not more so -- than it was that morning we married.  

o happy day

'Twas seven years ago this night that I met the man who would become my beloved -- in a pub among young adults gathered for the new-to-us Theology on Tap series.  He elbowed a mutual friend and asked to be introduced to me, and the rest is history...

on the eve of our anniversary

On this night six years ago, the eve of our wedding, I didn't foresee snuggling three bambini for bedtime stories while the eldest played one last game of checkers for the day with his dad.  As I wrote, though, in the column that ran in the diocesan newspaper the day after we got married, the care of these children is part of the "shared vocation to which God has called [us] -- the one which He has seen fit to will for us so that we may help each other prepare to meet Him at the end of our earthly lives."

For the call to this vocation and the myriad blessings of this life together, I am profoundly and humbly grateful.

happy family fun time

Both of my beloved's brothers have been in town recently.  My brother-in-law and his wife -- graduate students in architecture -- are visiting for the week after a semester abroad, allowing our bambini ample opportunity to renew acquaintances with them.  For the lass, it has been a chance to really develop her sense of who they are in her life, since she has little recollection of them from their last visit at Christmas time.  In the past week or so, she has gone from giving her aunt and uncle her signature skeptical sizing-up stare to playing happily on the floor with them and even trying to say their names.  We've been celebrating this brother-in-law's birthday today.  It's been great good fun.  My other brother-in-law was here one evening late  last week before flying overseas for work, and the lads had great good fun crawling all over him and investigating the name badge his company requires him to wear.  The lass now says his name, too, and points out both her uncles and aunt in pictures.

Seeing the bambini with their uncles and aunt and the relationships that are developing among them is so neat.  My beloved often speaks of the fun he had playing with his uncles when he was a child, and the value he places on the relationships he has with them today.  Our younger lad has been processing the various family relationships and noting similarities such as the red hair he and one of his uncles both have.

This past Sunday afternoon most of the in-town members of my beloved's extended family (and there are many of us -- with many more in far-flung places around the country) gathered for some "happy family fun time" -- a phrase coined long ago to describe the scene when so many generations are gathered in one place.  On this particular day that meant swimming, grilling, swinging, visiting, and laughing together, all within the context of the lovingly and skillfully crafted home and outdoor living spaces constructed by the family members themselves.

Gatherings with the larger clan are always lively and energizing.  We are richly blessed to count among us four generations of family, many examples of sacramental marriage, and a shared Catholic faith that binds us together in our sense of being and purpose. 

Just as I am grateful for the opportunities my bambini have to cultivate their relationships with my parents and sister, so too I am for the many chances they have to know the family from whom their dad hails -- dear people who have become my family as well.

girlfriends

Shortly after I accepted the post as director of music and liturgy way back in the day, I received a note in the mail from the director of religious education at the parish welcoming me aboard and thanking me for taking the job.  I had met her a few times already because I had been playing the early Sunday morning Mass at the parish for a few months before taking on the full time job, but I didn't know her very well.  That gesture of friendship and hospitality was the beginning of a very dear friendship that continues today.

She is a mentor to me in many ways, especially in living out this vocation of marriage and motherhood.  She has two sons and a daughter close in age like I do -- but they're teenagers now, so she has much-needed perspective, experience, and insight to offer me.  She shares my affinity for chocolate, and she is my elder lad's Godmother.  We are bonded forever in a special sort of sisterhood.  Her sensitivity and faith-informed insights have proven invaluable aids to many seeking spiritual direction, hope, healing, and renewal.  She is a reflection Christ's love to everyone she encounters.

Today is her birthday.  I wish for her a year full of blessings, hope, joy, peace, and grace.  Love and cheers to you, girlfriend...

morning people

Next to the sink in our laundry room, there's a framed picture of my beloved and me we took of ourselves the morning we got engaged (oh happy day!) in a local park.  The picture's been there for a while, but just in the past few days each of our bambini has commented on it.  Our lass flashes a big grin and says "da da da da..."  The elder lad asked if that picture is from before when he was born.  We confirm as such.  The younger lad took notice of it as he stashed a toy on the counter on the way out the door to the garage: "there's you and Daddy!"

On that beautiful morning my beloved asked me to serve God with him in this vocation of marriage.  From the two of us (with God's help), this family has grown into five (soon to be six).  It is my fervent prayer and earnest endeavor to do my part to make our marriage a reflection of the bond between Christ and his Church, something which I believe is one of the greatest gifts we can give our bambini.  Their identities are rooted in Christ and the family in which he has placed them, so it is only fitting we make the inherent structure of that family a living sign of Christ's grace at work.

A lot has happened in the six years since we took that photo.  God willing, it was the first day of many to be spent serving the Lord hand in hand with my beloved.

birthday season

Yesterday it seemed all the Google products I wanted to use were taking a mental health day -- including the search engine itself, the calendar, and Blogger.  Maybe it was just me, but I'm sure glad they seem to be back in business today.

In our family, January 11th is a momentous day.  It's my mother's birthday and parents' wedding anniversary.  They celebrate 35 years of marriage in 2010.  Theirs is a testament to the faithfulness of the married vocation through all of life's seasons and all the ups and downs they present.   I pray Christ will continue to bless them with an awareness of his presence with them, and with profound joy for length of days. 

The longer I am a mother, the more I come to understand my own mother (though I will not be so presumptuous as to say I completely understand her.  Who can totally understand another person anyway?  Only Christ.).  She is a lady of great sensitivity, humor, wit, intelligence, resourcefulness, and deep concern for those she loves.  I wish for her only good things, abiding peace, an understanding of how much she is loved and cherished, and continued faith in the Creator who loves her. 

So no matter the technical difficulties.  We celebrate a "birthday season" around here.  All my love to you, Mom and Dad.  Peace be with you both.

my former life

Before marriage and motherhood, I spent a lot of time perched on a piano bench.  It was a favorite spot of mine from the time I was a wee lass, so much so that I majored in piano in college at the encouragement of my aunt Robin (an encouragement that took on an added dimension of poignancy when she died of breast cancer at the age of 37 when I was a junior in college preparing for my recital).

Determined *not* to be a piano teacher, I instead set out to be an arts administrator.  I landed an internship in the development (i.e. fundraising) offices at Lyric Opera of Chicago the summer after Aunt Robin died. Promotional writing for special events was a primary focus of my internship, and it led to my first job out of college as a PR lackey for the local (now defunct but resuscitated under new leadership and an inventive business model) professional orchestra.  Here I learned a lot about mass media (even embarking upon a master's degree in this field), marketing, and graphic design, and put a ridiculous number of miles on my little car ferrying musicians (and signage and props and even a beer keg for a season wrap party) around the region.  I was very fortunate to have several articles published in the monthly magazine of the performing arts center where the orchestra gave two of its concert series, something which led to future publishing opportunities and a keener interest in writing and communications.

When the orchestra met its unfortunate demise, I went to work as the director of music and liturgy for a local Catholic parish whose pastor had been stationed at my home parish when I was in middle school.  It was an honor to serve in this capacity, and a natural outlet for my musical training.  I had begun playing at Mass when I was a teenager and had done so throughout college. This stint coincided with one writing a monthly column for the diocesan newspaper.

Then I met my husband at an event for Catholic young adults.  Within a year of our meeting we were married, and soon thereafter our first child was on the way.  I left my post at the parish to devote myself to full-time mothering and home-tending.  Every once in a while I would substitute for a pianist at one of the local Catholic parishes.  Now with three small children, it's been a while since I played at Mass.  God willing, I'll be back on my piano bench perch sometime soon, for it is there that I am most sure to be utilizing the particular talents He has given me that I have cultivated through years of practice and study.

For now, though, I am cultivating other talents and striving for everyday sanctity by loving and caring for the ones He has placed in my midst, tending to their souls, praying for the Grace to reflect the Lord's love and light at every moment. It's my honor to do so, and I'm so grateful for the multitude of blessings bestowed upon me by living out this particular vocation to which God calls me -- one I pray I will share hand in hand with my beloved for length of days.