near miss

The sickening thud that results from a child on an uncontrolled trajectory that ends in collision with a hard surface is one of those unmistakable sounds that every parent probably hears at least once never wants to.

In the moments that follow such a calamity, there are questions coming rapid-fire.  Is she hurt?  Is she OK?  Is something broken?  Should we take her for x-rays? 

Please, Lord.  Grant me wisdom to know how to handle this situation.  And please hold me together so I can help her.  

I like to think that I'm pretty good under pressure at such times, but I know I'm toeing the line when one of my bambini is injured.  For example, the two-year-old lass took a spill off a window seat cushion this afternoon in the midst of an otherwise delightful afternoon of happy family fun time.  After that terrible sound, there came the cries of a little girl in pain.  She held her arm tightly against her side.  She had landed on it, and right away the area around her elbow began to turn purple.

I went running for some ice and Arnica Montana, a homeopathic remedy indicated for bruises, muscle soreness, and traumatic injuries that we keep on hand.  We refer to it as "bonk medicine".  We scooped her up and snuggled her close.  My beloved -- aka "Dr. Dad" -- fashioned a sling out of a tea towel and tucked some ice and a baby doll inside.  She could still move her arm without much pain, but we still worried and wondered.

After a little downtime she was back up and playing, using the arm with little noticeable difficulty.  She seems to be doing OK.  We'll of course keep an eye on it.

There have been a few other times when one of the bambini has been injured when I really wrestled to discern the need to seek emergency medical attention on their behalf.  (The younger lad can claim most of these.) After the dust had settled in each case, as I did today, I can't help but conjure up images in my mind of how that would play out, and it's never a good feeling.  What if it had been worse?  Oh, how I can work myself up over such uncertainties.

Scary though it may be to think about, there is little good to come out of fretting about things that haven't happened.  It's important to be prepared, because accidents happen.  We can take every reasonable precaution to secure our bambini's safety, but we can't keep them from ever getting hurt.

So I tell myself when I'm not holding a child in pain after falling just out of my arm's reach doing something she's done a thousand times before and likely will many more times to come.

Perhaps the day will come when we will need to summon help for some medical crisis.  God forbid something like that should happen, but if it does, I pray for the courage to be the strong mother the hurting child will depend on to secure that medical care as well as offer the comfort that only comes from Dr. Mom.

Marjorie Flack's 'Angus' books

With our preschool co-op we utilized a curriculum called Before Five in a Row geared for children ages two to four.  Using classic and more recently published children's books, we'd read a certain book at home several days in a row (hence the name) and together as a group.  The activities were drawn from the books in some way.

One of our family's favorite books was Angus Lost by prolific children's author Marjorie Flack, about a little Scotty dog named Angus who wondered about the big world outside his window and one day made it out the door to find out for himself.  This gave rise to some good discussions about safety, both around dogs and broader personal safety issues such as when out in public.  It was also interesting to examine the illustrations, some of which are in color and some in black and white.

Angus also stars in Angus and the Cat and Angus and the Ducks, both equally delightful to Angus Lost in their charming prose and depiction of Angus's insatiable (or is it?) curiosity.

nesting: family-style

While we wait on the stork to bring Quattro, the whole family is in on this nesting business.  Yesterday the lads helped* my beloved clean up the Bambini Ride and rearrange the car seats to make room for a fourth one.  Both lads are now in the "way back."  Mama is hopeful there will be a minimum of fisticuffs. 

*by "helped", I mean they unearthed the younger lad's long-missing favorite ball cap, helped vacuum up a school of Goldfish crackers, wiped down seats scuffed with footprints, then climbed into the front and pretended to be driving their firetruck.  This was followed by some construction with PVC pipe outside the vehicle which soon devolved into whacking things.

The washer is on overdrive, laundering teensy tiny (or "tinsy", as the elder lad used to say when he was about the lass's age) baby clothes, blankets, bedding for the helping hands who will be staying with us once Quattro comes home, and car seat covers (in addition to the usual queue).  The current incarnation of our drinkable yogurt recipe is posted prominently on the fridge for hasty refills.  We're baking things in big batches to "feed the freezer" -- pancakes, cookies, muffins...

The recently-unearthed infant carrier is drawing lots of attention.  The lads have each tested to see if they can fit in it (just barely) and laugh at the thought of themselves small enough to have been strapped in.  The lass says "baby! baby!" and tucks her baby doll safely inside.

I'm wondering if Quattro will have dark hair like my beloved's, sea glass-colored eyes like the elder lad's, or his or her own unique combination of features and coloring.  And speaking of "his" versus "her", will Quattro even the gender score in this household or tip the scales even further? 

We're so looking forward to meeting you, Quattro.  We love you already.

generic response

A testament to the absentmindedness of my pregnant mama brain which shows itself at the most inopportune times: realizing that our inventory of baby-strength pain relievers such as Tylenol and Motrin were involved in the recent recall, I asked our pediatrician at the lass's check-up earlier in the week what to do.

"Just get generic," she said.  "They're not made by the same company."

Duh.  Bonnie.  Really.

We use generic products whenever possible from medications to pantry goods (including the bambini's allergy medicine; the name brand is part of the aforementioned recall) -- including the adult-strength versions of these medications.  Why didn't I think of this with regard to the pain relievers we hardly ever resort to using but want to have on hand just in case?

I have no idea.  I suspect it may have something to do with my quest to find products that are dye-free, and having found them only in the brand name medicines at the time I was shopping.  Fortunately, I did find some dye-free generic alternatives on the post-pediatrician-visit shopping trip to restock the medicine cabinet.

Still, why I didn't think of the whole generic alternative remains shrouded in mystery.  Maybe it's owing to a lack of coffee or chocolate in my system -- or both. 

stormy weather

Stormy weather is a fact of life in our part of the country this time of year.  In the past week or so we've had some "wicked weather" around us, but -- thankfully -- we have been spared any damage.  Last night we had some excitement with tornado sirens and severe thunderstorms just as we were readying the bambini for bed.  Stories were ready in the bathroom rather than the bedroom until we were able to ascertain that it was safe to come out of our "safe place."

Being on heightened alert for severe weather gets everyone's adrenaline going for sure, especially when we leave the continuous TV coverage going.  For this reason, we don't leave it on.  We listen to the radio and check the radar online, and watch only limited TV coverage as necessary. 

Trying to assuage the bambini's fears (and manage our own) in the face of potential tornadoes can be very difficult, as we don't want to gloss over the seriousness of the situation, but neither do we want to cause undue alarm and stress over something we can't control.  This can be especially frightening for the bambini, and we try to temper it by being truthful about the need to take reasonable precautions but the relative unlikelihood that something terrible will happen to us.  We pray and snuggle and try to maintain our routine as best we can.

Thankfully, the storms subsided in time for regular bedtime, and everyone got a decent night's sleep.  The lads were up early this morning, and a little out of sorts, but that might be owing to the busy week we're having with a school field trip yesterday, preschool graduation today, and lots of stormy (but not severe) weather all week.

We pray for those who've been injured or even killed in the recent storms, and give thanks for the shelter and safety with which we've been blessed.  Whether the storms are literal or figurative, our trust is in the same Source of strength...

my third arm

On nearly every outing, I wear the wee lass in a ring sling, just as I wore the younger lad in one before she came along.  I almost always get a comment or inquiry about it.  People will often take note of how content she looks snuggled up on me, or how she can see everything, or how they wish they had those things when their kids were little.  Some want to know if it's comfortable or if it hurts my back (it *is* comfortable so long as it's on correctly, though I do feel tired if I wear her in it for a long time). 

Babywearing is commonplace in many cultures around the world, but it's attracted some negative press lately because of a government warning on the potential dangers of infants suffocating in them (in a particular "bag" style, I should say). Not all slings and baby carriers are created equal or hold the baby in the same way.

Just as with any other piece of baby gear -- cribs, swings, car seats, and bouncers included -- caregivers need to use common sense and educate themselves on the correct usage of slings so as to insure their wee  bundle's safety and comfort.  The slings I have come with instructional videos that are also posted on their websites, and I've spent lots of time practicing getting the babes situated just so before setting out on any shopping jaunts or other excursions. 

Speaking personally and as I did when I dispensed some unsolicited advice for weathering pregnancy sickness, here are some further thoughts I have on babywearing based on my own experience...

I wore the elder lad in a wrap like these occasionally, though I found it to be cumbersome and in need of adjusting a lot.  It was difficult to nurse in, but it *was* comfortable to wear once we were situated because the weight is distributed over both shoulders.   I got my first ring sling when my younger lad was about two months old and have always loved how easy and quick it is to get on, off, and adjust.  It goes over one shoulder, though, so the weight is localized more on side.  If the fabric is spread out over my back as it's supposed to be, this is usually not a problem.  That first ring sling is a versatile steely gray-blue color.  When the lass was born, my mom gave me a girly pink one with butterflies and polka dots and other lovely images.   Now I'm able to coordinate my outfits to my slings.  :)

When both lads got to be about a year old, I switched to a carrier similar to an ERGO, which can be worn on either the front or the back (though the particular Patapum I have is for bigger babies or toddlers, which is why I wait so long to use it; the ERGO and another style of Patapum can be used from infancy).  When the weather is such that I don't need to wear a jacket or coat *and* when the lass gets a little bigger, I'll dig out this carrier again (if I can manage it with my baby belly). I practiced and practiced (and will again) getting the babes onto my back in this carrier at home on the sofa or in front of a mirror so that I'd be adept at and safely able to get the "slingling" (i.e. the baby in the sling) on my back at whatever location we happen to be.

There are several online resources for babywearing, including some to help one figure out which type of carrier might be best for him- or herself.  One such site is thebabywearer.com, which presently has links to several sling safety sites but also has extensive information and reviews on the various styles and brands of carriers.  (One such page on sling safety is on Babywearing International's site; thebabywearer.com has its own safety pages, and each sling manufacturer has information on safe wearing.)

Choosing a sling is a very personal thing, and many babywearing mamas I know have two -- if not several -- types of slings they use for different situations and durations.  The many documented benefits to wearing babies include facilitating bonding and nursing (the latter of the two I've yet to master but will have another go at here in a few months), aiding Baby's digestion, and reducing fussiness, among many others.

With any sling, there is a learning curve and a window of adjustment for both the baby wearer and the slingling.  So long as the carrier is on correctly, if the baby fusses when first put in the sling, often it helps to get up and moving for a bit of a walk to help the baby settle in.  If the fussing continues, it's a sure sign to stop and check everything is kosher.

I call my sling "my third arm."  I could not function as I do without my sling.  I can keep my littlest babe close to me where each of them has always preferred to be, care for my other children, attend to many (but not all) household duties with careful consideration to how I move or get up and down so as not to pitch the babe forward, and go to the store/playground/library/wherever with free hands and baby able to see everything from "the catbird seat," as one manufacturer describes it. 

Given my multitasking mandate, slings help me fulfill the many duties in my charge.  The babes are content and things get done.  Wearing the babies has saved me untold amounts of hassle and struggle with infant car seats (ours is particularly cumbersome) and strollers (my babies never seem to want to ride in them very long until they get a little older, so I'm stuck holding a baby and pushing an empty stroller), and allowed me to manage  two or more children at the grocery store by having one (or two) in the cart and one slung on me.

I welcome the inquiries I receive on babywearing, and hope my experience can help other caregivers and their precious cargo.

field trip

It'd been "like a hundred weeks" (according to the elder lad) since our last visit to the aquarium, so this morning we made the trip with a "schoolmate" of his (as my lad refers to his friend) and the lad's family -- neighbors of ours, it turns out.  Orchestrating a field trip of this scope takes some doing, though I do find the aquarium far more manageable than the zoo.

The greatest challenge lies in handling the excitement the lads feel before we leave the house while trying to check things off my list to get us ready to go, as this can quickly dissolve into bickering or other unruly shennanigans when the lads are keyed up to go but it's not yet time.   I do try to involve the bambini however I can -- them packing snacks, taking their dishes to the dishwasher, brushing teeth, gathering stuff, etc.  And I try to prepare as much the night before, but there are still some things that can't be done until the morning of.  Still, let's just get going already!

Finally we roll out with our theme song "Big Field Trip" by Justin Roberts queued up on the iPod.  We review our going-out-in-public safety procedures:

Me: "We stick together at all times.  But if we get separated, who do you look for?"
Elder lad: "a worker."
Me: "And if you don't see a worker, who do you look for?"
He: "a mama with small children."
Me: "And what do you say?"
He: "Please help me find my mama."
Me: "Do you leave the building with her?"
He: "No." 

Right on, dude.

(I've also tucked notes into his pocket and that of his brother's reading "My mama's name is Bonnie.  Her phone number is...")*

With great jubilation we pile out of the Bambini Ride and greet our neighbor friends.  Thus begins the heightened state of awareness wherein the two mamas among us take mental (and digital) pictures of the bambini (six in all, one slung on my hip) and continually scan the scene to keep them all in view.  I understand they've been renovating the shark exhibit, but I really can't recall too many details of the changes, as I didn't pay that much attention; I can, however, describe in detail what each child in our group was wearing.

Both lads handled themselves so well on our outing.  I made sure to tell them this, and that because of this I was inclined to take them on field trips again.  The elder lad beamed at this news.

Favorite parts?

• elder lad: the horseshoe crabs
• younger lad: the squid
• Mama: the countless "look at that!" declarations and accompanying expressions of wonderment on the lads' faces (and similar pre-verbal outpourings of excitement from the lass)

These field trips take a lot out of us, but they are well worth the effort when the bambini have such a good time.  The rest of the day was kind-of low key until happy hour (and by that I don't mean drinks with the girls).  Good thing the weekend is upon us!

With several such field trips in the "bank of experience," I'm learning how to manage the preparations and kid-wrangling aspects such that the true joy of seeing the bambini's delight can be my focus.  That alone makes it all worthwhile.

*These child safety ideas I gleaned from Gavin de Becker's Protecting the Gift.