grace to go on

So often now I struggle with the sheer physical demands upon me, carrying a near full-term baby within me and often schlepping a 20+ pound toddler.  I try to meet the lass's repeated and insistent requests to "hold me" as much as I can, as well as those of the younger lad, who has been asking me hold him a lot too.  I can't really carry him very far, but I do try to oblige his need for closeness by sitting and reading with him or something along those lines.  The elder lad now sets up his car mat and cars on the dining room table (such as it is -- two folding tables pushed together to form a near square) so I can sit and play more easily with him.  He doesn't ask me to carry him, but when I sit down next to him to read or watch TV, he lays his head on my shoulder and snuggles close. It seems they all sense Quattro's imminent arrival and are bulking up on the "mama lovin'".

Sometimes I feel so weak under the literal and figurative weight.  This frustrates me, and I am inclined to be irritated about it.  While I make it a point never to pray for patience (as the only way one develops patience is by practice -- know what I'm sayin'? -- and I already get a lot of that), I *do* pray -- a lot -- for wisdom, fortitude, understanding, compassion, and help in guarding against irritability.

Here's the amazing thing: just when I doubt if I will pass this endurance test, the grace to go on is there.  Just when everyone starts to melt down (including me), I am given the means to filter through any whining or fussing and the vision to see the various needs that are presenting themselves.  If such fussing is coming from one of the bambini, I ask for the need to be stated simply and respectfully (and in an age-appropriate manner) and then promptly meet the need as best I can.  If it's coming from me, I try to identify its cause and address that so I can get back to attending to everything else.  While it doesn't always go quite this well, it has been happening enough for me to recognize what is actually at work here (and it's not my doing):

Grace (big G).

My fervent and frequent prayer is for the Grace to do right by these children, my beloved, and all the people in my midst.  I'm not able to do that all on my own.  I can sense the prayers being offered for me and us, and I know they are heard -- and answered.

Thank you for yours.