pretty is as pretty does.

As I crouched down to tie his church shoes, the younger lad noticed the  bobby pins I'd stuck in my hair in a feeble attempt to fix it.  "What are those, Mama?"

"Bobby pins," I told him.

"Why are you wearing them?"

"To make my hair look pretty," I answered.  "Sometimes girls -- some girls -- like to fix their hair to look pretty."  Already I could feel myself sliding down a slippery slope, the precipice upon which I perch each time the lads observe me putting on the little bit of make-up I wear most days. 

"Are you a girl, Mama?"

"Yes.  Or at least I used to be."

***

"That's cute!" The lass-who-will-soon-be-two noted on each piece of laundry she was tossing into the washing machine.  This was after she told her baby sister that the younger lass looked "so pretty" in her Christmas dress. 

As the lass takes more of an interest in "pretty things" and looking pretty by way of hair "do-dads" (that's the technical term) or tutus or dressy shoes, the importance of cultivating an appreciation for beauty without over-emphasizing the material aspect is ever clearer.  She and her sister are beautiful in the way God created them.  They don't need fancy frocks or bows or frilly things or make-up to make them pretty. 

Sure: it's fun to play dress up at home or even get dressed up for special occasions.  I like to do that myself.  It's important to me to look my best, both for my own sense of self and that of those who might be watching me to see how I manage the particular hand life has dealt me.  It's important for my daughters, too, who are learning partly from me what it means to be a woman. 

I hope to show them by example (and their brothers, who might someday be applying these principles to the women they encounter, or perhaps already are) that we are prettiest when we are reflecting the face of Christ to others, when we take ownership of our identities as daughters of God, and when we present ourselves modestly and humbly to those around us. 

As much as I enjoy shopping for clothes and dressing myself and my bambini tastefully, it's vital I communicate that the clothes (or hair "do-dads") don't make us pretty.  Beauty comes from within.  It is enhanced by our respectful treatment of others and ourselves.  As I've been told many times myself and likely will tell my daughters on more than one occasion, "pretty is as pretty does."