keeping up appearances

Here's another story beginning with "on a recent trip to Target..."  I need to find a new opener.

Nonetheless, on a recent trip to Target with all three bambini (back in the brother cart -- faring far better this time), we were making good time and progress through the store and everyone was reasonably content.  As often happens on shopping trips, I passed the same woman a few times among the aisles and eventually took notice that each time she saw us, there was a look on her face that I would be described as "concerned" -- not quite alarmed, but in that general milieu.  The look seemed to flash across her face when she saw us.  Maybe the image of three children under age five being pushed around by a mega-pregnant mama was unsettling to her for whatever reason.  Or maybe -- and probably more likely -- she couldn't have cared less about us (except to hope that we wouldn't crash into her with our behemoth cart, which is perfectly understandable) and was thinking about something else.

At any rate, it brought to mind the reality that we are somewhat conspicuous when we're out and about, not because we are raising a ruckus (though we do have our moments), but simply because of these three close-in-age cuties and the big baby belly.  We attract attention.  Because we are a sight to be seen, I am keenly aware of how we look -- not so much from a standpoint of vanity, but from one of living out our vocation faithfully.

I like to look my best presentable whenever I am out and about, and for me this means a little bit of make-up, my watch, an outfit that is put-together but practical (i.e. washable and comfortable -- at much as maternity wear can be, anyway), and hair that might not be "fixed" per se but has been attended to somehow (a laughable concept, given my unruly curls).  Earrings are nice if I think I can manage them without my babe in arms ripping them out of my ears.

I have a built-in safeguard against vanity in the form of three young bambini starting the day at the same time I am, so I am able to take only a few minutes to put myself together (in snatches, if necessary).  It does wonders for my sense of self to have attended to these personal matters however briefly, and I think it conveys a message to other people -- some of whom are looking very closely to see how I manage this tricky business of mothering multiple young children.

It is this latter aspect about which I am most concerned -- the idea that there might be some young woman yet to have children or one expecting her first child or even a mom with however many children who sees me with mine and wonders how I do it.  I might (and sometimes do) feel entirely disheveled, exhausted, and frazzled -- every mom does at times.  Sometimes it's important for us to own that in front of other people just as a reassurance to them that they're not the only ones who feel that way.  But it's also important for others to see that it *can* be done -- done well, even (by God's grace), with Mama and bambini interacting positively, accomplishing things together for the good of their family and household.

This morning we made another trip to Target.  I saw -- as I usually do -- several mamas (and grandmas) with multiple young children managing to avoid crashing their behemoth sibling carts into fixed objects and people.  From the looks of things, we're not such an anomaly after all.